| GOD DAMN |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|03:29 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol | ] |
It's been like almost a year since I updated this thing. Crazy, eh? I know. It's 3:30 am and I have absolutely nothing to do. I am sick of WoW for the evening and my kitten is asleep. So is my girlfriend. I would call her but it's a school night. Ha. I might cook myself some food since she said she was going to then fell asleep. I dunno. It's strange updating after a year. I go back and read how different everything was back then. It's crazy. Ha, I can't wait until tomorrow. Nina doesn't have practice and will be home. I love her. We've been together for a long time and been through a lot. It's all ok though. We're stronger than ever. She's my perfect match. She really pisses me off at times, but no one else ever makes me as happy as she does by just being Nina. She is so cute. Like today she was really hyper and crazy and we just had lots of fun. I love when she's in moods like that. We rented a movie called "America 101" and it was alright. Thought it might be a little bit funnier. I guess illegal immigrants aren't as funny as I had been assuming all these years. Oh well. Boring bastards. I turn 18 in less than a month. That should bring along some interesting changes. I need to get a job. No joke. I am gonna go lay down and watch the Boondocks. You guys take it easy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|01:17 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Omerta - Lamb Of God | ] |
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever can not take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailent, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor...
Ha. I love that. It's awesome. |
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| There's no changing plans. |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|06:53 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin | ] |
Gah. I am in love with Nina Dulaney. Seriously. It's like... I want to spend every minute of every hour of every day with her. She makes me feel like I can do anything. She is one of the most amazing human being I have ever encountered in my entire life and I am so greatful that I was able to. Yes, we argue a lot, but I still love her with all my heart. I am tired of people making assumptions on shit. I LOVE NINA! I AM IN LOVE WITH NINA! When we're together it's like nothing can go wrong, and when it does it comes back so quick. We have been through so much and look at us, we've lasted through it all. I am looking forward to taking on so much more with you Nina. I love you. |
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| There's a secret I've been perfecting... |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|03:41 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  Comfortably Confused. | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Set Phasers To Stun - Taking Back Sunday | ] |
I dunno. This has been an odd day. Some people suck. Some people are awesome. McDonald's ice cream machine was down and DQ was closed so no milkshake tonight. Ripped the foglights out. Shouldn't have ramped. Damn. Bah, I am craving a milkshake and my throat hurts. I dunno. Fight Night should be sweet. I might go to the game tonight. That'd be sweet too. It's like 3:45 am. Sweet.
Ah, and my hair is growing long... Fuck yea, we can live like this... |
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| Ah |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|12:53 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Some nasty show | ] |
Today was fun. =). You're cool. I had fun driving my mom's car around. It was fun. Ha. Gah. I need to sleep. Make some awesomely awesome comments. This 'Supersize She' movie is disgusting. Hm. =) Night all. |
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| For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me... |
[Oct. 11th, 2005|10:47 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Ghost Of You - My Chemical Romance | ] |
I love that song. Best My Chemical Romance song ever. Only one I like really. Gah I am so looking forward to tomorrow. And every single day now. You're a great person. I hope the movie is awesome. Haha. I like you. =P. I am go to sleep so tomorrow can come faster. haha. Goodnight everyone.
I've spent so much time, Throwing rocks at your window... That I never even knocked on your front door... |
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| Bah |
[Oct. 11th, 2005|03:36 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Bom Bom Bom - Living Things | ] |
Meh, so bored today. Wanna skate. Feeling kinda under the weather. The weather makes me sick I think. I dunno =). I wanna do something but Daniel is gone. Why are so many people mad at me? =( I dunno. Maybe things will all workout soon. Workout. Yes. It's fun. I dunno. I'm done.
No lyrics. |
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| haha, interesting night. |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|05:54 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Nothing | ] |
Ha. REAL interesting night. No joke. Um. Where to start. Ha. Saw Nina. Went to walmart and got a cow costume. Ran around in the cow costume. Got a really hot chick from hooter's number. Was famous at hooters. Rode around. Met up with Jacob and Charles. Saw Billy. Went to Jackson's. Had fun. Lotsa people are mad at me. Don't understand why but they are. Someone chewed up my bottom lip... It was worth it though haha. Lotsa fun. Love it. OH! SOmeone tried to race us in the Eclipse. It was a piece of shit Ford Ranger. HAHAHAHAHAHA. It was great. Comment. |
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| HAHAHAHA |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|02:27 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | I Miss Nina! | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | None. He is silent. =( | ] |
Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)"
Brown
You have brown eyes. Brown is the color of the earth. Your eyes symbolize your comforting and fostering nature. You are stable, grounding, sophisticated, considerate, conventional and orderly. People may consider you to be cozy or warm. People feel safe when they are with you. Some words to describe you: reliability, elegance, security, healing, homely, grounding, foundation, and earthly. |
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| Hahaha |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|02:10 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | DANIEL IS SNORING! HAHAHAHAHA | ] |
I'm at Daniel's. He's asleep like right behind me. Considering tea bagging him. Nah, too gross. Ha. Sorry about tonight Nina. I do love you. MUAHAHAHAHHAHA! I stabs people.
Hm. Can't wait till after school tomorrow. See Nina and try to talk to Matt Brown. He's the shit. |
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| Is everybody in? |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|06:51 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | My Doorbell - The White Stripes | ] |
Fuck I can't sleep. I miss you so much already and I last saw you like what... 6 hours ago? =( I guess we'll have fun today. I need to shower. It is so hot in Daniel's room. No joke. I still haven't eaten. So hungry. Mom has lotsa snacks for me though. OH YEA! I was so caught up in Nina in the last post I totally forgot to announce I am a free man. =O CUHRAZY!
You don't know what you do to me. |
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| Fish Don't Fry In The Kitchen. |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|05:22 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie | ] |
Eh today in a few bagillion words. Hungout with Daniel and Connie. Saw Justin Blankenship. Just got back from Daniel's... Justin is fucking addicted to counter strike. I saw Nina today. She's so wonderful. We sat on the mountain and looked out over everything and just talked. We talked about so much. We talked about us, we talked about car wrecks, we talked about jumping, we talked about everything. Saw 'Corpse Bride'. Was ok. Not too good, not that bad. The best part was just being there. Surprised me. It had been too fucking long and I missed you so much... so very much. If only you knew what happened tonight. Look, I know you thought I was being an ass tonight. But I don't care. I do not care. Seriously. I dunno why I said what I did. I missed you so much I almost cried. Notice how I was kinda being REALLY cautious...? Guess I am scared of losing you. Now that you're back it's on. Never again. I need you too much. Didn't mean to call you what I did. My medicine shit was hitting me and I felt shitty and just I dunno. Don't hold that against me. We'll have fun ALL day tomorrow. =D We always do. I missed you. Gah. So happy!!!!
I do believe it's true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes, but if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too, so brown eyes I'll hold you near cuz you're the only song I want to hear... a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|10:18 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Right Here - Staind | ] |
They had my uncle's memorial last Monday. Sucked. I was just sitting there. Shit like that is so hard to fathom. Seriously. I was sitting there looking at my great grandmother and I was just like... damn. What is it like to have so many years with your kid then watch them die? It's not natural. What was going through her head? The only thing I could do to comfort her was to be there and just hug her. What can you say in that situation? The only thing I can think is she was there when he took his first breath and she held him when he took his last. How sad is that? It kills me thinking of it. I didn't even cry. I can't. It makes me so mad. No it doesn't. I can't be. I hate it. I wish I could go back in my life and change some things. Death is real. It can happen to anyone at anytime. I'm just sitting here waiting to get mine. It sucks. I figure I've done enough to say I have had a pretty full life. Watched friends die, watched family die, broken hearts, had my heart broken, and killed. Never killed a human but animals. I just wish I had something to leave behind like a legacy or some shit. A criminal record? That's something fun to leave behind. All I have seemed to do for the last few months of my life is fuck up. I'll add some pictures of my uncle's memorial just because there was someone who was interested in seeing my church but they never got to. He was cremated. I think that makes it all the more difficult to accept. There is no more Jimmy. There are ashes. We're burying his 'urn' the 9th of October in the same plot that my great grandmother and great grandfather have. My great grandfather is already there and looking at my great grandmother she will be soon. She has always been one of the strongest people I know but I believe this is putting so much strain on her it is honestly wearing her down and slowly killing her. It sucks. Gah, I just wanna start all over... I need someone to talk to. Seriously.
Can you feel your heart beat racing? Can you taste the fear in her sweat? You've done this wrong, it's too far gone, these sheets tell of regret... I admit that I'm just a fool for you... I'm just a fool for you... |
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| FUCK! |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|09:02 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | I, Monarch - Hate Eternal | ] |
Ha, lock up has been ok. Lotsa friends are there. HAHA. This medicine is killing me.
=( It makes me so tired and when I think about getting mad I can't. All it does is wake me up. I am glad I don't get angry anymore but I also don't like being emotionless. I can't even cry. Fuck. I miss so many people. I got in trouble for threatening someone there because he kept talking shit. Whatever. Threatening staff is a bullshit thing to get a warning and a drop for. Fuck. I am sad. Wait, no I'm not. I have no emotions! HA!
I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean, I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright, so I'm breaking the habit... I'm breaking the habit... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|10:34 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Hm. | ] |
Bleh. This always happens. This sucks.
Silence in...black and white...falling forward as she walks toward the light... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|05:52 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | The Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin | ] |
I'm glad we started talking. You're cool, pretty, funny, and just an awesome person. You also have the coolest eyes ever. You will probably never see this but... yea. Sorry about tonight. We'll hangout tomorrow day. Ok? Ok!
Hair dyed black with a tear in her eye, as she took off with that guy who said she's such a beautiful girl... Now all she wants is to go home, left with nothing but a bloody nose, oh well, she was a beautiful girl........ |
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| Ha, did anyone even realize I was gone? |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|10:13 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Remedy - Seether | ] |
Jail sucks. Fuck that shit. BIG bag of fuck that shit. Uh, I am home for today from 8am-5pm so wtf ever. I'll be back next weekend from 5pm-5pm Friday-Sunday. So, yea. My trip to Europe is still on for next summer so who the fuck wants to go? ALL summer. No money. I am paying for everything man. So yea, the motherfucker that was gonna go with me decided to become a fucking idiot when I am locked up and can't take up for myself. Just so you know, bitch, you didn't have shit to do with me getting locked up. I am in jail and shit for reasons I would rather not discuss with anyone at this moment. Maybe later. COME TO EUROPE WITH ME SOMEONE! Ha, I am so fucking upset and stressed... I lost 7 pounds the first 3 days I was locked up and gained that back plus and additional 12 from just working out. So fuck that shit. I am still in love. Ha. WTF!
I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows... I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes. Cinnamon and sugary, and softly spoken lies. You never know just how you look, through other people's eyes...
*EDIT* I am being put on ZOLOFT and some other shit because I am such an angry person. Haha. Another big Old Bag Of Fuck That SHIT! |
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| These imperfections make it hurt... |
[Aug. 2nd, 2005|02:53 am] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | B.Y.O.B - System Of A Down | ] |
Ha, I am hungry. I have school in like 4 hours. Fuck that. Haha. Some fucked up shit happened today. Saturday/Sunday was so much fun. I LOVED that gun. No shit. What can I say, I like waking people up. That's about it.
I'll dig the hole, and bow my head... To see you smile, I face my death... realms of fear they speak the truth... What has passed I hand to you... |
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| I'll be just fine pretending that I'm not... |
[Jul. 30th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Time To Waste - Alkaline Trio | ] |
Have you ever listened to a song and cried because of all the memories it brings streaming back into your mind? Yea. Fuck that. I love you. I am getting ready to go. I need to get outta this fucking house.
You don't know what you do to me... You don't know what you do to me... I don't know what I want to be... And I know what I want to be... |
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| I'll never make another promise... |
[Jul. 30th, 2005|03:54 pm] |
| [ | How I Be Fillin' |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | Moozeek |
| | Different - Acceptance | ] |
Why does something always hold me back? Keep me from doing what I need to? Is there something I'm not getting? Why do I always come back for more? I don't understand it. I should not be here right now.
But things can't be perfect, all the time, that I know... Sometimes we just have to let some things go.... |
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